Wisdom & Spirit

Wisdom & Spirit

Relax! It’s Mercury Retrograde.



I opened my eyes at 5am this morning feeling a sweet change in the air. It felt really good. Then I realized Mercury is officially in Retrograde.


Here’s the thing, I understand the panic around mercury retrogrades. Last night, I could barely form a sentence sometimes. My partner and I couldn’t stop laughing. Yep, it’s definitely mercury retrograde.

Mercury is in retrograde from today August 12th, all the way until September 5th, just in time for Virgo season. Woohoo!

Mercury is the planet of Intellect, Logic, Perception, Thinking, Communication, and Technology. These are the areas affected the most hence why I could form a sentence yesterday lol.

Who gets affected more during Mercury retrogrades?
Mercury is the home planet for Geminis and Virgos (Me). So if your Sun sign, Moon or ascendant sign is in Virgo or Gemini, you will feel its full effect. A great way to see how this planet, mercury, is personally affecting you is to look at your chart and see which house Mercury, Virgo or Gemini falls in. For me, mercury falls in my 9th house, which is the house of Spirituality. If I am to go within, what better house to work with. 

And for my beloved, Mercury falls in his 2nd house which is the house of Life values.  Which means for him, this mercury retrograde time will be a lot of reviewing, reflecting and fine tuning his life values.

If you don’t know your signs or have a chart, no worries. You can get your free chart here:

Retrogrades offer us a time to Reflect, Remember, Release, and Repair.

It’s the Cosmic Siesta.

And we get to experience this every quarter. How awesome is that? The universe always knows what we need even if we have no idea.

Mercury retrogrades in Leo and Virgo. What does this mean?
1. You may be returning to past projects and refining or tweaking them.
2. You may be looking at past decisions and ideas from a new, possibly enlightened perspective. Yei Virgo!
3. It is a time for learning (or relearning) what we love doing.
4. It’s time to think, not with the mind, but with the soul.
5. It’s time to say what you mean and mean what you say.

What should you do at this time?

1. Keep Calm, it’s only Mercury! It’s cosmic Siesta time!
3. Use your intuition rather than Logic.
4. Be flexible and go with the flow.
6. Slow down, meditate and do some journalling.
7. Reorganize, review, and reflect.
8. Back up your computers.
9. Take care of your car.
10. Accept that there may be hiccups, delays, miscommunications, and Melt-downs.
11. Be Gentle with yourself.
12. And lastly, RELAX, if I haven’t said that already.😁

This is a powerful time we are in. 

You are so loved.

Cosmic radiance coming at you!

Abigail, Moon Goddess.

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Wisdom & Spirit

What do when you’re in the sh*t


We have all been there. When everything seems overwhelming; on every single front. When things go to sh*t.

It is not about denying that these periods occur from time to time.  Rather, what can we do when we are knee deep in the sh*t?

How to make sense of things when you are knee deep in sh*t

We know that contagion of emotions is real.

If you’re coming into work and trying to lead your team whilst your life is falling down around you, it’s very likely that sense of panic and disarray will transfer to your team too. This stuff matters – both for you and for the impact it has on those around you.

There are three elements to how you make sense of things when you are knee deep in it.

  • Keeping yourself well so that you can deal with what is happening
  • Rationally observing what the issues are
  • Dealing with the issues

Keeping yourself well

The reality is that none of us are any good to anyone if we are not functioning well ourselves.

It is so tempting to de-prioritise our own health and wellbeing when life keeps sending the curve balls but the reality is this is the MOST important time to look after ourselves.

I wrote this Facebook post over the weekend:

Things have been busy with some stressy stuff thrown in recently. It is always so tempting to burrow in & work harder and harder, trying to juggle all the balls, that spin quicker & quicker.

If this feels like life for you at the moment – think about doing the reverse; by upping the self care.

It is the usual suspects, I’m afraid – but that’s because they work..

A small 3 minute meditation first thing in the morning, with perhaps some quick breathing exercises in the loo during the day. Food that nourishes the soul. Exercise that tells your body you appreciate all that it’s doing for you. Less of the stimulants.

Even if you do these things bit by bit – introducing them so they’re sustainable- you’ll start to feel a difference. The balls won’t spin so fast & you might catch the odd one before it falls to the ground!!

I’m taking my own advice – have been off the coffee for just over two weeks & have started my morning meditations again. I know these things will help – as will going to the gym as often as I can & having an early morning walk & talk with a dear friend.

If the balls are spinning out of control for you at the moment – what small things can you introduce that will start to rebalance?

None of these things won’t change the balls spinning of course, but they will alter your ability to view them more rationally & cope with them.

Rationally observing the issues for what they are

When we are overwhelmed, it becomes easy for everything little thing to add to the overwhelm.

A good tip here is to rationally observe what is causing you the overwhelm. If you’re too knee deep in it to see anything rationally, ask a sensible friend to help. Which of the issues are really contributing to the problem. Which can be easily dealt with in the calm light of day? Are there any which are just non issues?

My favourite trick is to ask myself- will this matter in one year or five years time? If not, and it’s contributing to overwhelm – let that sucker go! (Book week costumes – I am looking at you!)

Dealing with the issues

I know that this is sometimes easier said than done. When it feels like we are so stuck in the sh*t that we literally cannot move.

But breathe deeply.

Ask a good sensible friend or trusted colleague or coach to help.

And see if these tricks assist.

Circles of Influence

One of the sources of overwhelm and stress is trying to control things that we have no control over. Being able to see clearly what we control, what we can influence, and what we have ZERO control over can bring clarity (and peace) to the situation.

things go to sh*t
Circles of control/influence



And then, there is the very Buddhist concept of acceptance. It sucks not to be able to control every aspect of our life. But that is the reality. And even more so that we are often impacted by things that we have no control or influence over. But it is pointless agitating over these aspects of the stress.

Accepting the situation and then deciding to control what you can control is so empowering.

What we can control:

And there is lots that we can control. We can control:

  • Ourselves;
  • Our responses to situations and people;
  • Our mindset;
  • How we view a situation; and
  • How we choose to look after ourselves.


This post first appeared on

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Wisdom & Spirit

The Powerful Secret That Will Immediately Improve Your Life


Do you think that the people and situations in your life get enough of you? That’s a heavy question, but one that you need to ask yourself.

In fact … we all do.

If you’re completely honest with yourself (yes, I mean REALLY honest), I’ll bet the answer is no.

If your answer is yes, I’d say you need to take ONE big gulp and ask a loved one to see if they agree and prepare yourself for some hard hitting truths!

You see, we tend to “take care of” people before we give them our time.

For example: as a mom you’ll often be so busy doing the laundry, making dinner, doing dishes, getting groceries, taxiing children to/from after school activities and so on that you end up not having the time to PLAY or RELAX.

Sure, your kids will be well fed, well taken care of and loved. Here’s the reality, you’re so busy trying to be Supermom that there’s no time for play or much one on one attention.

Where does your partner fit in there? Do you have time for them or are you just as sparsely available?

Fast-forward ten years, when you look back, what will you see?

  • Will you have lots of wonderful memories of swinging with your child at the park or taking walks with your aging parent?
  • Will you remember deep conversations with your partner?
  • Will you look back and see all the little (and big) things that make life so sweet?


  • Will you see how hard you worked?
  • How many hours you spent doing chores?
  • Will you see tons of stress, due to the fact that you’re spread thinner than phyllo dough?

Your friends, kids, partners, and family don’t want the phyllo dough version of you. Give them the Baklava! Truly taking care of them means giving more of you, which (time to be honest again) you can’t do if there’s nothing left to give.

We live in a world that is VASTLY different than it’s ever been.

It’s changing daily. Hourly. By the minute, really.

It’s a world that among other things, seems hellbent on automating everything and promotes the feeling that asking for or accepting help is for the weak.

Remember the “Glorification of Busy?”

So what the heck do we do? How in the world do we get to a place where we’re consistently giving the Baklava version of ourselves? Like the song says “I get by with a little help from my friends”…

AHHHH… help, huh? We’re so used to helping everyone else that we don’t often take it ourselves when it’s offered.

Time to be honest again .. When was the last time you let someone help you?

  • When was the last time you asked a friend to come help you clean your house because you were just too overwhelmed?
  • When was the last time you accepted an offer to run an errand for you or babysit?
  • When have you felt strong enough to ask an old employer for a letter of recommendation?

When you ask for and accept help, you’re not weak. In fact, living in the world we live in, I’d say it takes a fair amount of strength to admit this one thing:

You can’t do it all.

Here’s the flip side of asking for or accepting help: when someone offers to help you, it’s usually because they genuinely want to. They want to lighten your load, make things a little easier for you. It shows that they care for you and your well-being.

“Hey, Jenny, you sounded so stressed out on the phone before. I know you have a lot to do; you’d said you needed to pick up a few things. I’ll be in town, why don’t you text me your grocery list and let me go to the store for you?”

  • Do you say yes?
  • Do you feel a sigh of relief that that’s one less thing to worry about and grateful to have such a good friend?
  • Do you now have time to make memories or do something for yourself?

So many of us would say no. So many of us would consider it but .. yes, the but comes in, we’d ultimately turn down the offer due to the guilt that rises up in our mind of  actually burdening someone else and our little voice starts nagging about the “weakness” we’d be admitting to.

Then what?

Well, the plate is just as full as it was before and now you’re left wishing that you’d accepted the offer. So you end up just as stressed out, just as thinly spread, just as busy… PLUS now you’re kicking yourself because you could have had one less thing to think about, had you been able to say yes.

Tell me why you’d rather feel that way then let someone help you?

“If you’re not making someone else’s life better, then you’re wasting your time. Your life will become better by making other lives better.” ― Will Smith

On the flip side of this whole thing is the person that wanted to be there for you. I don’t know about you, but if I had a friend in need of help, I’d want to help! If she said, “no, thanks,” I’d be bummed out. People love to help, look at yourself… isn’t that what you do?

You take care of everyone and everything, don’t you?

We want to make life easier on others, most of us really do WANT to help, and it feels good. Helping others helps build our own self-esteem, self-confidence and promotes a feeling of satisfaction. So, when you turn away someone’s kindness, you’re not only shooting yourself in the foot, but you’re denying the other person the chance to feel good about helping someone they care for.

I challenge you to accept the next time someone tries to help you, whether it’s  your partner, friend or neighbor to say ‘Yes.’ I think you’ll find that things are really a lot nicer “with a little help from your friends”.

You can feel good knowing that they really want to be there, they can feel good knowing that they’re part of allowing you to breathe a little easier.

Easier said than done, I know.  But, it really is a WIN-WIN!

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”  – Charles Dickens

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Wisdom & Spirit

A Fight for Life – Or, rather I mean Tomatoes!

Squirrel remi-skatulski-101224

Seriously!!! These squirrels or chipmunks or whoever is stealing my tomatoes… STOP!

I’m struggling to be kind and compassionate. I’ve been stolen from. My privacy has been violated. My dreams stolen. My plans ruined.

A few days ago there were 7-8 tomatoes, one just about ready to pick. It was perfect, no blemishes, very red, I could almost taste the juices of it. One more day, I said to myself and it will be ready.

One more day later – it’s gone. Lock, stock and barrel as they say – no signs of it anywhere. Jeez… I’m beyond disappointed. We were going to have BLT’s for dinner. I was ready, my mouth was watering… My husband was going to be sooo happy! Then – bam, it’s gone.

It’s not right!

The next day – two more totally green tomatoes have disappered. I really don’t want to share. I really am living in lack and limitation and “It’s MINE”.


Then this morning, there is one tomato left and this one on the railing of the deck.

Seriously? What are you doing??? Taunting me?

I thought we were safe, up on the deck, away from the ground. I thought there would be respect for private property. I guess I was wrong.

I think I’m needing some of my own advice – about Falling Into Ease.  Maybe I’ll go listen to one of my Facebook LIVEs.  Want to join me there?


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Wisdom & Spirit

Dear Body, I Love you

Dear Body, I love you

I find the whole “This food prevents cancer” and “That food causes cancer” mentality to be incredibly unhelpful in my day to day life. I don’t believe that there will ever come a day when I am immune to the perils of a human existence.

I can eat organic kale till my poop turns green, but that doesn’t mean a thing if my overall relationship with my body is unhealthy. I can live a picture perfect lifestyle–go to the gym every day, walk when I can, eat organic, go raw, do yoga, meditate daily–and still be abusing my body.

A healthy goal for me these days is being truly mindful of my personal relationship with my body, including my relationship to my thoughts, emotions, sensations, and any and all other layers of experience arising from being in a body.
Sometimes I even imagine that I am sitting across from my body at a dinner table, having a conversation with her. That conversation might go something like:


“You are such an amazing creation. I can’t even fathom the miracle that you are. You have probably gotten and beaten cancer 10 times already without me even being aware of it. Wow, thank you. You have probably been exposed to hundreds of nasty viruses that you fought off without me even noticing. You balance out all the fungus, bacteria and carcinogens that you are exposed to every day. You are doing that right now, as I sit here and breathe this toxic air. Thank you.

“You created an entire human, and then pushed it into the world. You’ve been cut open multiple times, and then sealed yourself back together. Good god, how you even do that, I have no clue…but thank you. Your intelligence is something I could never even scratch the surface of understanding. I am in awe of how you work.

“I am so sorry for all the times those multiple virus attacks pushed you over the edge and I experienced uncomfortable symptoms, and I cursed you, and kicked you when you were down. I am so sorry that I didn’t remember how hard you were fighting for our survival.

“I am so grateful for how hard you work to keep things homeostatic, no matter where in the world I am running off to. And I cherish the moments when we are both feeling good, and can enjoy the intimacy of just breathing.

“I know one day you and I will have to part ways. Like a Tibetan sand Mandala you will whoosh away into dust, and I will soar free, apart from you. But until then, I cherish our time together, old friend. Thank you so much for all you do, you are a perfect and beautiful mystery. I love you.”


It wasn’t always like this, however. My current relationship to my body is the result of a complete and total transformation, from the ground up. Every aspect of it has changed over the years.

It’s embarrassing to admit, but I was in a full-on abusive relationship with her before, without even realizing it. I would constantly pressure her to be healthy the way I thought she should be, without even considering her own intelligence. I never listened to her. And if I could no longer ignore her because she was screaming her metaphoric head off, I’d yell at her and call her names. I feel very humbled now, looking back.

I am grateful she is so forgiving, and that we are friends again.


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Wisdom & Spirit

Is Balance A Challenge? The Reason Why Is You’re Looking At It Wrong.


All this talk about balance these days… everywhere you look there’s another IG post or lengthy webinar trying to inspire you to achieve a life of balance.

First of all, what does BALANCE look like to you?

It’s a somewhat abstract concept when applied to life, isn’t it? The word balance means a condition in which things are equally distributed.

Seriously, give me a break, equally distribute life? … just how could you possibly do that? Evenly distribute your life?

Or, more accurately; how do you now RE-REDISTRIBUTE your life evenly?

Let’s see .. “Ok, I spend 8-10 hours a day working and only maybe that many hours a WEEK spending quality time with my family, I will now spend half my time at work and half my time playing twister with the kids.”

Mmmmm, that’s not going to work. When do you sleep? Eat? Shower? Clean? Do yoga? Walk the dog? Go to the bathroom?

So now what? Now you RE-REDISTRIBUTE your life so that everything gets an equal amount of time, effort, emotion and attention…. That doesn’t even sound good in theory! Obviously you don’t need the same amount of time for brushing your teeth as you do for sleeping, that’s just silly. But that’s what a (literally) balanced life would be like.

Let’s review; by definition, a life of balance would cause all sorts of problems in every aspect of your life. But, the concept still feels really good and the idea of a life of balance is empowering! So, we strive and we reach and we spread ourselves thin, trying to achieve what we think is “balance”.

Here’s the thing… By striving so hard to create balance, we create imbalance.  

As a verb, balance means to keep in a steady position (now we’re cookin’!), which leads me to the concept of BEING balanced, balancing YOU. Not “creating a life of balance” or “striving” to achieve it or scrutinizing yourself, your priorities and the way you live your life because they don’t LOOK balanced.

Look at yoga. In tree pose, we stand on one foot with the other leg bent and the arch of that foot against the standing leg’s thigh (like a flamingo). Arms can be out like branches or in front of you, with hands in prayer or wherever you choose. This is both one of the easiest and hardest poses in yoga. As with any yoga pose, the stronger you are in it and the deeper you go in your commitment to it, determines how steady you are, for how long and when you must come out of the pose.

So, in tree pose, you are balancing, but the pose itself is not “evenly distributed”. One side of your body is doing one thing and the other side is doing another. Your ability to stand there balancing is due to adjustments made within your body and mind.  You chose to make your body fit into this pose with (relative) ease and hold steady.

I know you know where I’m going with this…

Guys, your life is never – I repeat – NEVER going to be “balanced.”


And that’s ok! In fact, that’s great!  But you know what can be balanced? That’s right.


What do you need, as a vibrant soul in this human experience, what do you need to feel and be steady? Answers such as; “I need more money to feel and be a steady being” are not allowed. Know why? Because a steady, balanced person always has what they need. Not because they bought it, but because they make adjustments within their body and mind to fit into life with ease (the ease part takes a lot of practice!)

Some simple ways to dive into becoming a person of balance are:

  • Start a gratitude journal. Every day, at whatever time works best for you (but ideally the same time each day) jot down a few things that you are particularly grateful for that day. Put it in perspective.
  • Speaking of gratitude, make a habit of thanking people. When someone lets you pass them on the highway, I don’t care if they can see you or not, say thank you. And wave, just in case they do see you.
  • Do things to prompt gratitude in others.  Hold a door open or compliment someone. Feed that good vibes machine!
  • Choose your battles. Do you have a teenager sneaking out, late at night? Yea, address that. Does he or she forget to turn off the TV once in awhile? That’s likely not worth an argument. Does your neighbor have tons of unsightly junk on their yard that’s a turnoff for potential buyers of your home for sale? Ok, you should probably work on that. Does your neighbor’s lawn look like they skipped a week or two mowing? That’s just not something worth your time or energy.  In choosing your battles, you’re accepting things for what they are, which is really good practice. You’re also creating a more peaceful environment.
  • Take a look at what makes you feel good. What keeps you steady? Do more of that.
  • Learn to say no. If you want to be balanced as a person, you have to look out for yourself

At the end of the day, what we all want is to be happy. Grasping for and/or achieving the pie in the sky“balanced life” will not give you happiness. YOU are going to give you happiness. You are going to trust this life and stand strong no matter what it throws at you.  

What I dream of is an art of balance. – Henri Matisse

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Wisdom & Spirit

Light of the World

Light of the world ales-krivec-1336

I am – you are – the light of the world. I am the light of the world for all who can see. I am the light, pure potentiality. I am a vibrating, effervescent, luminous light of God. Light is the beginning. In the beginning God said, “Let there be light” and there was light.

I became the light and as I did all my egoic, personality, humanity dropped away for a few moments. It was during and after an experience I had in a crystalline, sacred waterfall in the village of Abadiania, Brazil. I entered into the jungle, if you can call it that, in sacred ceremony with the intention of being cleansed and filled. This waterfall is sacred and blessed by the Entities of Light and you must have been granted explicit permission by John of God and the Entities to enter the area. As I walked down the steep path I could feel the presence.

I had no specific expectation, other than to receive all I could receive and release all that was possible to release. The only thing I knew is I was ready. I’d already been in the presence of John of God and the energetic vortex for a week, all of it leading up to this moment.

I entered the waterfall with gratitude and appreciation. In humble awe, I placed myself in the stunningly cold downpour of water and was washed, emptied and cleansed of all that no longer serves me. This immersion took my thought, my pattern, my belief, my unforgiveness, my pain and poured it right off me into the ground below the water pool. It was exhilarating and expansive, but nothing compared to the second immersion only moments later.

Coming up for breath, I became aware of the sun streaming on my body, it was like a stream of light from above right into me. It almost took me to my knees. Then I entered again, this time to be filled with light and love.

Filled, I was; I could hardly catch my breath as the water poured over my body, and the light permeated and penetrated and filled the very interspaces of my being. My entire body is tingling at the memory of this sacred and mystical moment. My heart is so full, my being is so empty.

Emerging from the second immersion, I stepped away so the next could have her turn. I was no longer my body.

I was light-headed, but also light-bodied. I stepped aside and stood in awe and wonder at the experience which was so much more than it appeared.

In sacred silence, I walked up the steep path, out of the jungle and returned to my hermitage room in the posada I was staying in. The instructions were to remain in quiet reflection for the next few hours or more.

I went to lay down to allow the fullness of the experience to integrate and fill me further, but I could not lay down. The light as vibrating at such an intensity I had to stand. As I stood, again, in a stream of sunlight coming in, this time from my window, I shook, trembled and wondered. What is this terrific and glorious thing that is happening and I realized I was no longer made of physical carbon-based body, but I had become a light being. The tingling that was happening throughout was electric; it was joy. Pure unadularated joy.

When Jesus spoke about coming that we might have joy and have joy complete – this is to what he was referring.

In time, I was able to lay down and allow the experience to continue flowing in and through and as me. I have never felt more live; never been more fully in my body – even as my body appeared to have disappeared.

I’m weeping again at the memory of it as I attempt to add words to my experience without diminishing it.

I have indeed been renewed and transformed by my experiences and as I’m beginning to share them, my work is also impacted. I feel the support of so much in the unseen world.

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Wisdom & Spirit

Carving a Life from the Chaos


It is a safe assumption to make, that the only constant thing in this world is change. We all know life isn’t perfect. Life and all the endless plans we make, hardly ever turn out exactly the way we want. We may be promised a magical dream life from a prospective lover, who then runs the other way when it comes time to make a commitment. We may work our whole lives to retire with the one we love; only to lose them to cancer the year retirement comes. 

Why is life, full of so much disappointment, heartache, tragedy, forgotten dreams, unrequited love and abandoned hearts? 

If we choose to come down to this crazy planet, and we have free will; why oh why, does nothing ever go to plan? 

It is a question that has perplexed the greatest minds on Earth. The debate between destiny and free will. 

Is everything pre-determined in the spirit realm prior to birth through our soul contracts that we are obligated to fufill? Or are we a completely blank canvas in every moment, with every possibility and choice at our fingertips? 

I tend to think that our souls have a destiny blueprint, a baseline of what we decide  we want to experience and learn to evolve and grow as a soul. 

Within our lives and our destiny blueprint; there in also lies our free will. I do believe our soul contract / destiny blueprint drives the choices and decisions we ultimately make in pursuit of our souls mission or life purpose . 

But we always, always have a choice. If we, on this path, decide to revert back to old patterns, stay stuck, or move at a faster pace; eliminating karmic debts and evolving at an exponential rate, we can. 

I always say to clients:

“You create your own timing” 

It is indeed a paradox, two completely opposing forces working simultaneously  within the internal universe that houses our soul. 

But it is the nature of the duality of life on Earth. The masculine and feminine, the yin and yang, giving and receiving. 

Our masculine energy within us, takes decisive action, lights a fire in our soul, and drives our mission. Our feminine energy is the receiver of love, of guidance, of inspiration and nurtures our very entrance and  existence into the world.

We need a balance, an equilibrium of these two opposing forces to not only move our lives forward, but to also enjoy all that life, love and the universe has to offer. 

In a world of endless opportunities, challenges, information overload and access to the world in the palm of our hands, how can we possibly know what is the correct path we should take? 

How do we know we are making the best possible choice in any given moment?

It is these questions that cause our state of being to freeze, or to be stuck in “limbo”. We become trapped inside an illusioned state where we believe: 

1). We are running out of time 

2). We might make the biggest mistake of our lives. 

But what if there were no mistakes?

What if we chose to look at the choices and decisions we make, as an opportunity to experience and another chance to grow? 

There is something brilliant in what Dr Wayne Dyer had to say about this situation we face on a day to day basis. 

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

So, in other words, the quality of our reality is ultimately determined by our perception alone. 

Ajahn Brahm, a well known West Australian Buddhist Monk, said four very powerful words about changing the way we look at our present moment circumstances. 

“Want to be here.” 

Therefore, the root cause of suffering is not wanting to be right here, right now in this moment. Regardless of how it is manifesting, unfolding and what it might mean for you, Tony Robbins said; 

“Nothing in life has meaning unless you give it meaning.” 

These statements all have a common thread, that what we experience, is simply that; an experience. 

Our level of happiness in life, and our level of suffering, is determined by the way we perceive and respond to the events in our lives. 

I do believe in life, there are victims and fighters. We as humans move in and out of these mentalities based on the initial cards we are dealt at birth. A child born in a refugee camp may be a victim, where as a child of a billionaire is given ample opportunity to fight, based on the health and wealth provided to them. 

But what determines who we are and what we give to the world, is our response and meaning we give to the environments we as children and adults find ourselves in.

We do not have to accept our surroundings as “our lot” in life. We have the choice and more importantly the capacity to change our circumstances, through free will, mental strength, determination and drawing on the tools of visualization  and manifestation. 

We can “carve” a “life” out of chaos. We have to make a  conscious decision to make a commitment to perceive and respond to our environment as a fighter, not a helpless victim. You can see here, that attitude is everything. It explains why a child from a poor background can become one of the top surgeons in the country, whilst a person who is given health, wealth, security and opportunity can still feel lost, and of little use to society. 

You define, who you are, not the circumstances you find yourself in. In truth, you are the exception to the rule; every time. The only difference between those who succeed in this life and those who do not, is an unshakable belief and a refusal to accept the surroundings they find themselves in.

If you choose to be a fighter in this life; you are announcing to the universe; that you are making a decision to carve yourself a life from the chaos. 

Think of the journey of a fighter like a man, with a knife, finding himself in a thick jungle. This man has two choices, he can sit down, give up, and use the knife to end his days, or he can take that knife, get up, show up, never give up and fight his way through the jungle vines, the dense foliage and the trees blocking his path, till he  carves out a path for himself, and makes it through the jungle to the river. This man, in effect, through fighting has saved his own life. 

So, what are you choosing to be in this moment? A victim or a fighter? You choose. 

“If you’re interested, you’ll do what’s convenient. If you’re committed, you’ll  do whatever it takes.” – John Assaraf.   




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Wisdom & Spirit

Dear Womb, Please Forgive Me

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Dear Womb,

Please forgive me…….I forgive you!

A part of me died there that day – with the bright lights shining down between my legs as they were held tight by the stirrups.

That 16 year old girl had to very quickly become an adult. Alone and scared – facing the consequences of her inability to look after herself.

I thought he liked me – but really he just knew how to get what he wanted. I wasn’t the first girl, nor was I the last. I wondered many years later if he felt remorse for the way he treated me, us!

I don’t think he did. Now I understand why I did what I did.

Other than the fact he got me very drunk and I don’t really remember a thing.

I spent many years feeling like I had to give boys what they wanted – I didn’t know I had a choice! I also thought that it was the only way to get love, I had placed my own worthiness on the attention I would receive from men. Very often when a child’s innocence is taken at a very young age they link their sexuality and their body to love, and to an expectation to give others what they want. When I look back on my life it scares me to see all the places I gave myself when I didn’t really want to.

Leaving the clinic that day I was surrounded by people flashing banners in my face – the irony is that before that day I had one just like it hung on my wall at home “Stop Abortion”

To feel their anger and judgement burn into my skin as I left with my head hanging in shame. I had done exactly the thing I had been against.

But what other choice did I have? I felt like there were none! I felt like I was alone……well almost alone. My ex-boyfriend had taken me to the clinic, paid for the procedure, cared for me that night and the biggest part of all – when my parents found out he took full responsibility for me.

So here I was being shown how cold one man could be in comparison to how selfless and caring another could be.

In hindsight now as an adult I can see how the best thing I could have done was go to my parents and ask for help.

I was 16. I didn’t know any better and I was scared

If I knew then what I know now, well I wonder if I would make the same decision? It seems that my womb was only made to carry one child in this lifetime. Often I thought my womb was punishing me for the choice I had made. At 42 I am finally at peace with my Womb. I have forgiven her, and her me, and now we have a connection so strong that I wonder if this was what her plan was all along? That I would use my Womb to create life in other ways, I would use my nurturing to hold many rather than just one.

I had managed to put the experience of that 16 year old girl way way back in my memory. So far back I thought it was nothing.

Until one day last year in my Shamanic Womb Priestess Apprenticeship I had to face this demon hiding in the shadows and allow myself to heal from it. Realising I was still energetically holding onto that tiny little foetus in my womb 26 years later. I thought I had healed, moved on, but really my 16 year old girl was still holding on.

This week taking myself through Womb Spiral I finally come to a place of forgiveness and peace. I can finally say I forgive myself , I forgive my Womb and my Womb forgives me.

Working with the Womb has changed my life in countless ways. It continues to make the greatest impact on my life, not only with releasing past hurts and traumas, but also with allowing me to fully step into who I am as a Woman. Wild, Embodied, Powerful, Deeply Vulnerable, Creative, Empowered, Mystic and Free.

If this story calls to you, perhaps you are ready to journey with your Womb.

#wombspiral #zapheriabell #evolutionarywoman

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Wisdom & Spirit

For the love of our Miss Millie – Letting Go


As I sit beside the once physical embodiment of our much loved Miss Millie I sink deep into the tearing pain in my heart. My face creases deeply as the sorrow over flows into tears that seem to run like a never ending river…

I know this heart break, these tears and intense pain in my whole being. I have been here before.

Through the sorrow and pain I ask ” But why, she has only been with us for 3 and a half years, why, why couldn’t she stay longer?”

Why is the question that when answered beckons the response of “Yes but why?” We are never quieted,calmed,peaceful or accepting of the answer or even any answer.

Before sitting here with my darling Millie, I went for a walk…our walk and I sobbed all the way.I paused at our favourite spot where Millie would sprawl out on the grass with her head held high looking from left to right in case one of her furry friends may come by. I would sit in the quiet space taking in the beauty of the trees, the sky and all things Mother nature presented. As I pondered things I would have a chat with the Angels and God above.

Today I asked that dastardly question”Why, oh why”…knowing better but I asked all the same. Knowing I would question the answer..

The answer came ” You have yet to master letting go, attachment and unconditional love”. As you may imagine this reply did not soothe my heart ache but I did listen and asked to be shown more.

I rose up from the bench to walk on home listening and watching for the clarity…As I walked from the park I became some what defiant and said

” I did love millie unconditionally…. I said I would be happy to say good bye when she was a little old lady”

The reply was immediate…” Indeed you did, conditionally, love under you terms, therefore conditionally. Now you must let her go with unconditional love so you can both be free”

So here I sit beside Miss Millie writing about my sorrow and heartache and feeling the lift in my heart with the wonderful sense of unconditional love and letting go, surrendering to the highest most powerful love of all.

I am blessed that I am able to “see” between the worlds, the more I open my heart and surrender the more I will “see” Millie and have her not only in my heart forever but be able to see her walk beside me.

Unconditional love is what I would call a skill.We arrive to this world with only unconditional love, joy and harmony in our being, in our heart. And so begins our journey in this life from the day we arrive or even before we arrive ( science has shown the many things that affect a baby while still in the womb). We are a bundle of Divine energy which literally soaks up all the emotions from around us and from every person who holds us from day one. By the time we are 4 years old our knowing of unconditional love, pure joy and harmony is so compromised we lose our way and so begins the path of forever looking for who we are …being hurt, feeling lost, even holding resentment and fear in our heart.

Forgetting how to love in completion , how to let go without distress or hurt how to live every day in joy and harmony.

Take yourself back to the soul’s place of pure unconditional love, joy and harmony by being true to your heart, live your values. Sounds easy enough would you say? In real time and everyday life it is not easy.

You see the layers of conditioning, the way we are taught to be and do from the outset are well embedded. But they are not fixed in stone.

Take the time to ask yourself where you place “conditions”, you will be surprised especially if you write them down!

Take time every day to check if you are living to your personal values in all areas of your life. There will be some more surprises for you in this little exercise. The first one may even be “what are my personal values”. I am often smiling at my clients when they eagerly say what their values are.

This is not a value ” Make sure my kids are loved” It is a parent’s love ad external to who you are.

This is not unconditional love ” My son will be going to Uni he will be so successful being a lawyer”

Start today, break free of all the conditioning, the conditional love, attachments. Let go to be free.

Enjoy your life in pure joy harmony and unconditional love.



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