September 2017

Health & Beauty

Guilt Does Not Serve You!

08-09-2017 – Guilt Does Not Serve You


I was chatting to one of my beautiful 1:1 Online clients last night & she was absolutely beating herself up about ‘breaking out’ and eating half a block of chocolate on Saturday.


So aside from the fact that she only began her health and fitness evolution 2 weeks ago (and therefore couldn’t possibly have mastered each strategy and process associated with long term health / weight management), it was ONLY half a Kit Kat!!

So let’s try to put a few things into perspective here….. because I know so many women GUILT themselves in GIVING UP ON THEMSELVES…..

1) The total caloric value of the consumed portion of Kit Kat was approximately 250 calories (only).
2) She’d already achieved 12 days of EATING WELL and had successfully reduced her daily caloric intake by over 1000 cals per day…. which still provided a comfortable allowance of approximately 1400 cals per day! (Woohoo – awesome effort)!!
3) She’d also exercised several times during the preceding 2 weeks! (Yay – good work gorgeous)!!

Do YOU think 250 cals is worth throwing the rest of your life away on?? And seriously…. she’d literally ‘guilted’ and ‘shamed’ herself out to such an extent, that she was considering throwing the towel in…. AND her aspirations of learning how to effectively manage her health for the long term!!


1) Guilt does NOT serve us well!! Effectively it’s a form of punishment…. & punishment is typically used to extinguish undesirable behaviours. The problem with that is, that unless you’re a masochist, you’re unlikely going to continue punishing yourself & therefore you completely give up on wanting to extinguish the ‘undesirable’ behaviours to begin with!

#1 Point Being: It is what it is. It’s done. It can’t be undone. There’s no point investing time and negative emotion on something that you can NOT change.

Straighten that crown of yours Darlin’…. accept it, learn from it and MOVE ON. Tomorrow is a new day with a clean slate!!
2) Punishment can have even greater, unforeseen NEGATIVE impacts!! If we are using guilt as a form of punishment in the hope that we’ll extinguish our ‘undesirable’ behaviours, we may also begin to subconsciously develop self-sabotaging behaviours (to over compensate or ‘pay-back’ for the punishment that we’re giving ourselves). Examples may include (but not limited to): relaxing portion control, maybe having an extra glass of wine each night, perhaps not exercising to the required intensity, potentially making up excuses why you ‘can’t’ exercise or ‘must’ go out for dinner, or ‘have’ to have that second large cappuccino… etc, etc.

#2 Point Being: Punishment is not an effective behaviour modification strategy if the goal is to achieve a long term, sustainable result. Enduring changes in behaviour are better motivated through the reinforcement (praise, reward, encouragement), of ‘desired’ behaviours. Examples may include (but not limited to), focusing on all the days you DID eat well, or all the times you DID exercise!

Straighten that crown of yours Beautiful…. you deserve to feel proud of the AMAZING achievements you’re making on a daily basis!

3) The All-or-Nothing approach is NOT an effective strategy!! If we want to achieve long term, sustainable results in terms of our health / weight management, we need to approach it with a well aligned ‘cognitive compass’. It’s completely unreasonable and unrealistic to think that we’ll never eat chocolate (or whatever our particular little ‘delight’ is) EVER AGAIN. So why do we think that we can ‘never’ enjoy it when we’re still in the early days of our health and fitness evolution?

#3 Point Being: You absolutely CAN NOT deprive yourself of every ‘delight’ you desire. The sooner you learn to understand and appreciate their ‘place’ on your menu and the quicker you learn to proactively manage their consumption (in moderation)…. then the better the opportunity for ‘positive behaviour reinforcement’.

Straighten that crown of yours Gorgeous, it’s time to learn how to ‘proactively manage’…. not just ‘D-I-E-T’!!

So…. the moral of the story??

My 1:1 Online client is feeling a lot better about herself. She’s no longer feeling guilty…. she’s praising herself for all the achievements she’s made thus far (including the loss of 1.5kg)….. AND, she’s now proactively choosing a time, place and appropriate amount of her ‘delight’ to enjoy in moderation!


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Wisdom & Spirit

The World is Falling Apart – or is it?


It appears that the world is in chaos. The fires, the floods, the hurricanes, the politics. The hate and violence that appears to be normalizing.



The repeal of DACA – good, honest, hardworking Americans who happened to not have been born here potentially being deported. The crazy, the insane, the scary. What is going on and how do we stand in it?

The United States of America is being hit hard right now. We are not alone, there are fires, outrageous heat, hurricanes and devastation in other countries as well. Since I am American, I will address our country, but not to the exclusion of other countries who are being battered with nature or human devastation.

Recently we had both the Lunar and two weeks later, the Solar Eclipse, which fascinating enough also only was visible from our country and to most of it. Very curious, you might think. Could it be that we are experiencing the after math of these two spectacular events?  Maybe.

This is a question that was posted to me;

“What’s going on and how can it be fixed? How can believers do something to help?”

Here’s my thought: First and foremost, keep your attention off the drama/trauma and on the Light. Jesus said, “Seek first the kingdom of God.”  Second – if you are in the way of harm – MOVE! Get yourself safe!

There is a story about a man who was trusting God to save him from rising waters. (This is a story, however, it made itself real last week in Houston). The short version of the story is that a boat came by twice, then a helicopter to rescue him, ultimately from the roof. He refused saying God would save him. Finally, he drowned and found himself at the Pearly Gates. He whined to God, why didn’t you save me? God replied, I sent you two boats and a helicopter!

The point being, God isn’t partial to one human over another; God or nature rains (or fires, or floods, or storms) on everyone equally.

Mother Nature is fierce and when she is storming, get out of the way! Keep yourself safe!

There are many theories flying around about Climate Change – isn’t it obvious our climate is changing?! There are theories about some of these storms being man-made or man influenced. At some level, isn’t that obvious also? We are not caring for our earth in a very compassionate and loving way. We are continually contaminating it, taking it for granted and even taking advantage of it. Of course, things are going to happen. (I’m not going to even touch on the man-made weather, but you can google it, if you care to explore another version).

I was asked for spiritual help, so that is what I’m offering.

I believe that humanity is basically good at its core, that we are awakening to Love and light and a new way of living together, in Oneness on the planet. I also believe that everything unlike Love must come up. That is part of what we are experiencing.

With the hatred, the violence. We find ourselves with a leadership that not only condones hatred and violence, but practices it openly. This has granted permission to those who harbor hatred in their consciousness to express it outwardly.

I do not condone hatred or violence in any way shape or form. Yet, as I witness it in the outer, I must look at places within my own consciousness that I’m angry, that I get violent. You should hear my silent rants against the hatred, you’d think I was practicing violence in my own head.

This is all part of the ultimate healing process. We cannot stand for hate or violence at any level and it washes down. We are being called to clear ourselves of hate and of fear.

Remember the bible story of Daniel in the Lion’s Den? Basically, Daniel kept his focus so on his God that the lions’ mouths were closed and he escaped death. Also in the book of Daniel is the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego who were thrown into a fiery furnace. Their focus on God kept them from being burned.

We are in fiery furnaces and lion’s dens; so, where do we put our attention? On the drama, trauma? On resisting that which is?

No, we keep our focus on the love that we see, the good that is happening. We don’t bury our heads in the sand, but we don’t give our energy and attention on fear. When we are focused on a greater good, we may be called into action. If you feel the call, take action, but not from fear or resistance to what is.

What is happening? We are being cleansed at a deep level. Just as deep wound needs to be lanced to heal completely, this is happening in our humanity.

Why? Either because we have crazy in charge, which we must remember we voted in. I don’t know how or why, but somehow the crazy has all been voted for. Or we can believe that all this is working together for a greater good.

Romans 8:28, All things work together for good for those who love God.

That does not mean that every event, situation or circumstance is good. It does mean that for those who love God, those who are committed to Love, will find a way to come together for a greater good. Does this mean that disaster won’t strike? No, but when we focus on the good that comes – the connection, the generosity, the community that happens, we find love during it.

Why? I have no clue. It’s crazy making in my mind too. It blows my mind and I can’t even begin to comprehend what we are seeing.

But what to do? Find love, seek love, keep your focus on love. Take a stand for LOVE, do not participate in protests against, only rallies for. Take a stand for kindness, compassion. Do not engage in fear based tactics – no matter what.

Shift your focus from what you see to what you want to see. For what you focus on, you will see more of.

Hold yourself accountable to yourself, and to the awakening of the planet. Trust in the goodness of God/Spirit/Source/ Creation – no matter what.

If you were to create a beautiful garden, you would first need to clear out the weeds, and till the soil. If this is what’s happening on a global scale, so be it.

Trust that you are protected, that you are love and loved; that you will not only survive, but also thrive. Does that mean that you will escape all the crazy, perhaps not, but you will get through it; you will be ok!

I believe we are being called to reassess our values, to recalibrate our lives. Sometimes it looks hard and scary, but that which matters most will remain, will survive, will rise above.

I’ve cleared a few spots in my calendar to support those who are traumatized by current events and are seeking support.

The other great big piece is that we are each, individually and collectively being called to do our own healing workto have our own awakening. That sometimes is the hardest work, but it will pay off! It will bring you great comfort and peace in your own consciousness and your own live. It will also bring clarity about what is yours to do.

When we stand in our Truth, in Love; we are guided as to how to individually participate in the world. Sometimes it is action, other times it is prayer.

For everyone, pray lovepray rain where the planet needs it; pray dryness where the globe is saturated. Pray balance in nature and the softening of the brutality in all our planet.

Pray love. Be love. Pray light. Be light. Trust in that which is greater than all of it. Trust in a greater good that will be revealed.

Notice I did not say pray for; I said Pray!

Know that you are not alone, you are love, you are loved, you are loveable forever. Practice kindness and compassion. Give love your attention. Release fear, release judgment, forgive that which you see and don’t understand.

Our God, no matter what name or flavor you call it, is a God of Love, of goodness. Practice your deepest, broadest beliefs and encompass the globe with your love, your faith, your trust.

That is what those who are believers in a greater good are called to be and to do.

So much love to our planet. So much love to our country. So much love to you, who are suffering, who are struggling to make sense out of senselessness. So much love to our Humanity.

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Innovation & Business

Whom Will Your Brand Serve?


One thing that I’ve learnt in my decades in business is that if your company tries to help everyone, it will end up helping no one.

Maybe you’ve heard of the spray-and-pray method of marketing, in which a general message is created and distributed widely and randomly without regard for demographics.

In theory, especially to new business owners, this would seem like the best way to garner attention for your brand. However, in reality, it’s the worst plan.

Your ideal customers need something specific from your brand. They have particular likes and dislikes, and they have a problem to solve. If you’re not speaking directly to their pain, their problem, their needs and their preferences, they are going to pass right over your brand.

And, as you have probably already deducted, if you’re being vague and all-inclusive in your branding and marketing, you’re going to appeal to no one.

Here are some tips for narrowing your audience and your message, for better branding results:

  • Create an Ideal Customer Profile. Draw a picture of your ideal customer. Identify their gender, age, family situation, culture, career, hobbies, personality, religious affiliation…whatever is necessary in establishing who they are and why they need your brand. Give them a name if that helps you to get to know them and remember them.
  • Speak Directly to your Ideal Customer. In all communications, whether direct or fairly general, speak directly to this person. You want to appeal to others like them, so it makes sense to make everyone feel as if you’re speaking directly to them.
  • Know the Problem you’re Solving. Your ideal customer has a pain or a problem that you’re particularly skilled at solving. Know the anxiety, the discomfort, the secondary complications that come along with enduring this problem, so you can speak with empathy. Most business owners know this pain all too well, because they have come from this pain, learnt how to relieve it, and are now sharing their solution with others. Speak to your younger self, before you solved this problem.
  • Forget About Offending Others. I am not suggesting that you make offensive statements or blatantly exclude particular groups. I am, however, suggesting that you stop worrying about inadvertently offending anyone who is not your ideal customer. Remember, they will not benefit from what your brand is offering. Include everyone, and you will exclude those most important to your brand.
  • Vet Those Asking to Join your Groups. Whether it’s a closed Facebook group or a subscription-based online club, you have the right (and the obligation) to scrutinise anyone who wishes to join. I ask myself if the person will bring value to the group, if the group can serve their needs, if I expect them to engage with the other members…I even make sure they have a profile picture, rather than a random visual. Do this, and you will enhance the quality of your entire group, making it more attractive to your ideal customers.

I trust that these little pieces of advice will help you to get clear on whom you want to serve, and to then go forward with serving only them…to magnetise more of them to your brand. Because the more ideal customers you have associated with your brand, the more people like them they will attract to your brand…and the more credible, visible and profitable your brand will become.

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Events & Workshops

Spirit Guides with Steven & Amy North ft. Sandra Skender


The Spirit Guide workshop with Steven & Amy North is an exciting opportunity to hear the love, passion & wisdom directly from Steven’s spirit guide, Amy North.

This workshop is a practical guide to all things Spirit Guides and how you can incorporate this unique and beautiful connection that everyone shares into the day-to-day lives and learn how we incorporated this connection and changed our lives.

This is an amazing opportunity to learn about Spirit Guides from a Spirit Guide directly. We will introduce you to techniques that will help improve your own communications, discover methods to merge with your spirit guide and to even channel them if you wish to explore that further.

We will share with you what we have been doing together to heal ourselves, to explore the extraordinary bond that is the spirit guide & incarnate connection.

Come embrace this connection and we will share with you techniques that will help you transform your own life like it has for ours.

You will also hear from Sandra Skender, A gifted Psychic/Medium on how she works and communicates with Spirit Guides and will provide information as to what she does to help people with her abilities.

Discover Amy North & Steven North on our website.

Click Here for More Information

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